Everybody knows things are bad, worse than bad

That's a sampled lyric from a mix by Steinski. TM bought the CD about a month ago, and I've been hooked on it ever since. He's a great DJ, check it out: "Nothing to Fear" is the disc.

Anyway, that lyric has been in my head for about 48 hours straight now. My first-choice county, the only county I wanted to work for, the one that finally hired me after being passed over in the first round, the one that has been a serious roller-coaster ride, is looking at layoffs. And when I say "looking at layoffs," I mean they are going to do it. When I say "looking at layoffs," I mean it's a bloodbath -- somewhere between 10-25% of their workforce just in Child Protective Services. So things are bad, worse than bad. Morale is shot, the office is a crummy place to be. In fact, I'm supposed to be in the shower right now, getting ready to go. But I kind of can't bring myself to do it. I got assigned another referral yesterday, and I'm wondering, How am I supposed to apply myself to learning a new job and all its functions and duties, when I know I'm out the door in less than six weeks? I know that I will do it, because that's the kind of person I am, but the whole office is feeling that way. One of the supervisors told workers that they should be looking for a new job if they have less than three years with the county. That feels insane to me.

So things are going to get weird. I have some good news, too, but I'm going to hold off on writing about that now. I think I need to stay in the crappy part of it right now, to honor the bad feelings, since I so often jump to optimism and the power of positive thinking. That's there, too, but this is all about the fact that it kind of sucks right now.

More later.